We’re supposed to have the answer. Make the call. Stand behind it. And project confidence, even when the path forward isn’t particularly clear.
But what if our idea of strong leadership is part of the problem?
Some of the strongest leaders I know are the ones willing to say, “I might be wrong. What am I missing?” They listen when it would be easier to defend. They ask the uncomfortable questions. They hold their ideas lightly, and hold space to change their minds when they learn something new. They can make a hard decision without pretending the human impact of that decision doesn’t exist.
That’s why one finding from our latest State of Workplace Empathy study deserves more attention: 59% of CEOs and 51% of CHROs believe their decisions will be challenged if they lead with empathy.
Sit with that for a minute.
The people with the most authority inside an organization are worried that demonstrating empathy could undermine their authority. That tells us something bigger about how we’ve come to define leadership. We reward certainty and celebrate conviction—expecting leaders to not only move fast but have all answers and rarely look back.
But empathetic leadership asks something harder of us:
That isn’t soft leadership. It’s strong leadership.
When leaders don’t feel safe leading with empathy, it shows up in culture, employee wellbeing, and retention.
Our empathy research has proven this time and again, but this year’s findings are particularly concerning: 55% of employees cited a mental health issue, 40% said their workplace is toxic, and 66% would accept lower pay to work for a more empathetic employer.
This last finding is especially telling and should give every leader pause given the current state of the economy.
This is where the conversation around empathy often goes sideways.
Empathy does not mean lowering expectations, making everyone happy, or avoiding difficult decisions. Sometimes the most empathetic thing a leader can do is to be clear. To tell someone the truth, set expectations, and have the difficult conversation. You can care deeply about people and still hold an incredibly high bar. In fact, the best leaders do both.
For years, organizations have asked whether empathy belongs in leadership. That feels like the wrong question now.
We have mounting evidence that leaders believe empathy matters to business performance. Yet many of the people at the very top still worry about what happens when they demonstrate it.
So perhaps the question leaders and boards should be asking now is: Has our definition of a strong leader caught up with what leadership actually requires today?
Organizations don’t need leaders who are certain about everything. They need leaders who are confident enough to listen, secure enough to be challenged, humble enough to change their minds, and courageous enough to make the hard call once they understand what’s at stake.
That’s not a softer version of leadership. It’s how the strongest—and most respected—leaders that I know operate.
Part 2 of the C-suite workplace empathy research explores what happens when psychological safety becomes an issue at the highest levels of an organization, and what that means for leadership, culture, and performance.
